If you are easily religiously offended, please do not read further. It is meant in humour and by no means is meant to intentionally aggrieve.
That being said-
That being said-
Once, in a universe far far away.....wait, no, that's not it. Let me begin again...well, maybe it was in a universe far far away, who knows how these things start.....
So, what does the Easter Bunny have to do with this second most holiest of Christian days you might ask? Well, I am going to tell you.
He was there at the miraculous birth. When the oh so Wise men brought Doctor Frankenstein (I spose to assist with the birth. [He also resurrected, but that's another story altogether]), gold and myrrh<(which, from what I've been told, was used in the preservation of the dead....um, yeah, like that wasn't foreboding), and the bunny, actually a hare, brought, what he knew would please a newborn, brightly coloured eggs in a basket (to make a mobile over the manger, of course) ...and candy.
*I think it was more of a guilt offering.
Anyways, that is a little known obscure biblical fact.
I think it was in the almost lost book of canonical accounts, the book known as the Agnosticalgospel...us, yes, Agnosticalgospelus.
'And so it is written, he be called the *Prophet Peter Rabbi't of Arnebethaka, the Unknown Apostle.'
He is represented as the hare/rabbit you see in so many illuminated manuscripts. I have yet to discover why.
You do know Jesus and his Apostles were Jewish, right?
I think their aim was to reform some of laws/commandments, for there were many, 613 give or take. That's a holy lot of thou shalt nots!
(Off note, here's a tidbit concerning the proverbial idiom 'Waiter, there's a hare in my soup, take it away.'
In truth (or not) It was an ancient Arabic mistranslation, the hare at that time, being considered (erroneously) a cud chewer, thus unclean to consume by *Mosaic law. (*Bits and pieces gathered together and made into the aforesaid laws/commandments. Which is where the word mosaic actually comes from, Moses. I think. [actually, I really don't know, just made that up right now, so :P ]).......
And so be it. The true story of Easter Rabbi't. Aman, er Amen.
He was there at the miraculous birth. When the oh so Wise men brought Doctor Frankenstein (I spose to assist with the birth. [He also resurrected, but that's another story altogether]), gold and myrrh<(which, from what I've been told, was used in the preservation of the dead....um, yeah, like that wasn't foreboding), and the bunny, actually a hare, brought, what he knew would please a newborn, brightly coloured eggs in a basket (to make a mobile over the manger, of course) ...and candy.
*I think it was more of a guilt offering.
Anyways, that is a little known obscure biblical fact.
I think it was in the almost lost book of canonical accounts, the book known as the Agnosticalgospel...us, yes, Agnosticalgospelus.
'And so it is written, he be called the *Prophet Peter Rabbi't of Arnebethaka, the Unknown Apostle.'
He is represented as the hare/rabbit you see in so many illuminated manuscripts. I have yet to discover why.
You do know Jesus and his Apostles were Jewish, right?
I think their aim was to reform some of laws/commandments, for there were many, 613 give or take. That's a holy lot of thou shalt nots!
(Off note, here's a tidbit concerning the proverbial idiom 'Waiter, there's a hare in my soup, take it away.'
In truth (or not) It was an ancient Arabic mistranslation, the hare at that time, being considered (erroneously) a cud chewer, thus unclean to consume by *Mosaic law. (*Bits and pieces gathered together and made into the aforesaid laws/commandments. Which is where the word mosaic actually comes from, Moses. I think. [actually, I really don't know, just made that up right now, so :P ]).......
And so be it. The true story of Easter Rabbi't. Aman, er Amen.
^True representation of the birth^
^Actual preserved eggs Prophet Peter Rabbi't of Arnebethaka brought as gifts to Baby Jesus^
All blasphemy aside, I wish everyone a very Happy Easter if you celebrate, if not a Happy Sunday!
(Dear God, in case you are still out there, this was all in good jest. I kinda think you understand and enjoy a good laugh, after all, you created us in your image. Spiritually, I assume, our earthly bodies like perpetually pupating larvae gestating until we reach your stage of evolution. I kinda think maybe the big bang was just you giving birth to the universe....or just expelling something nasty that was upsetting your digestion....of previous universes that didn't quite work out? Anyways, you da' man...er...massive form of energy beyond known space....um, or something.)
* * *
An expalanation of nativity and eggs will follow, for now make up your own story about them. Maybe make it a tradition.
Was all this in poor taste? Of course it was, but if it brought a chuckle to some, I am pleased.
And yes, there are plotholes, I do so on purpose for you, the reader, to fill in.
Be safe and have a good one!
An expalanation of nativity and eggs will follow, for now make up your own story about them. Maybe make it a tradition.
Was all this in poor taste? Of course it was, but if it brought a chuckle to some, I am pleased.
And yes, there are plotholes, I do so on purpose for you, the reader, to fill in.
Be safe and have a good one!