Roasting a Turkey
(A recipe created by me for my friend Madelaine Phillips Carter :)
Step 1- Buy the turkey, obviously (Fresh or frozen. If frozen, thaw, obviously. Size is dependant on how many guests will attend.)
Step 2- Remove innards (This step is very important. When I first cooked a turkey, I did not know this and they were discovered, still in bag, upon carving....oops, my dumb!<like my bad only stupider, er, ah, more stupid?)
Step 3- Have a drink, Scotch, Whiskey, or in Maddie’s case bath-tub gin.
Step 4- Rinse turkey, place in roasting pan, then place in oven
Step 5- *Set temperature to 375 F (sorry, I have no idea what the equivalent would be in Celsius or whatever. America frowned upon the metric system. We want to be special. Except with soda in Liters. And maybe other stuff too. I don’t know these things. They are numbers and math and all that complicated stuff.)
Anyway,
Step 6- Take 3 or more sips of your liquor of choice.
Step 7- Turn oven on, oh wait, it is already. Let me check. Be right back......yep, it’s on already (*see step #5)
Step 8- Need another sip of that alcoholic beverage after that bit of confusion. Better make it more than just a sip. Refill glass.
Step 9- Take a baster and turk with bastey
Step 10- Need another bottle of get, Rum mabye
Step 11- Stick turkey in the thermometer to check something...what was it....oh yes, to check it’s temper
Step 12- Glass yourself a pour of liquor
Step 13- Bake the whiskey for many hours...some hours...a time...bake it for a time...then
Step 14- Taek the oven out of the turkey
Step 15- Teak the oven out of the turkey...it’s fairy important fro some season. Can’t remember why though.
Step 16- Floor the turkey up off the pick (wipe off or not, you decide)
Step 17- Turk the carvey. Carreefullly, sharpy cutty tool make ouchy. There will be blood, fi so...and mybea stitchesh...stishes...stisches...dial 911 if neshisary....
Step 18- Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 1Y- Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey (did some 1 ask why...Y...?....?....?
Step whatever- Bless the saying, pass and eat out....zzzzzzzz.........
(A recipe created by me for my friend Madelaine Phillips Carter :)
Step 1- Buy the turkey, obviously (Fresh or frozen. If frozen, thaw, obviously. Size is dependant on how many guests will attend.)
Step 2- Remove innards (This step is very important. When I first cooked a turkey, I did not know this and they were discovered, still in bag, upon carving....oops, my dumb!<like my bad only stupider, er, ah, more stupid?)
Step 3- Have a drink, Scotch, Whiskey, or in Maddie’s case bath-tub gin.
Step 4- Rinse turkey, place in roasting pan, then place in oven
Step 5- *Set temperature to 375 F (sorry, I have no idea what the equivalent would be in Celsius or whatever. America frowned upon the metric system. We want to be special. Except with soda in Liters. And maybe other stuff too. I don’t know these things. They are numbers and math and all that complicated stuff.)
Anyway,
Step 6- Take 3 or more sips of your liquor of choice.
Step 7- Turn oven on, oh wait, it is already. Let me check. Be right back......yep, it’s on already (*see step #5)
Step 8- Need another sip of that alcoholic beverage after that bit of confusion. Better make it more than just a sip. Refill glass.
Step 9- Take a baster and turk with bastey
Step 10- Need another bottle of get, Rum mabye
Step 11- Stick turkey in the thermometer to check something...what was it....oh yes, to check it’s temper
Step 12- Glass yourself a pour of liquor
Step 13- Bake the whiskey for many hours...some hours...a time...bake it for a time...then
Step 14- Taek the oven out of the turkey
Step 15- Teak the oven out of the turkey...it’s fairy important fro some season. Can’t remember why though.
Step 16- Floor the turkey up off the pick (wipe off or not, you decide)
Step 17- Turk the carvey. Carreefullly, sharpy cutty tool make ouchy. There will be blood, fi so...and mybea stitchesh...stishes...stisches...dial 911 if neshisary....
Step 18- Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 1Y- Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey (did some 1 ask why...Y...?....?....?
Step whatever- Bless the saying, pass and eat out....zzzzzzzz.........