I feel the need to explain a few things concerning my "12 Camping Survival Tips".
First of all, Smores.
It is important to know what "Smore" or in the plural "Smores" represents. I assume the general populace just assumes it is a camping treat and is short for "can I have somemore, please" (notice the politeness, this is not only a girl/boy scout trait and credo, but should be used by everyone and not just the Japanese, who, in my opinion are the epitome of politeness...except during wars but that is another matter altogether because lets face it, war is war and there is nothing polite about it. You would think after the years and years of conflict amongst peoples we would have learned that war is not a good thing, but this is not one of my rants about humankind and it's many, many faults, nay, this is about Smores.)
Now where was I...oh yes, the true meaning of Smores.
Actually it should be S.M.O.R.E. (and 's' if it is pluralized) which is short for Scare Monsters Off (&) Repel Evil. Adding the 's' makes it much more powerful. This is why it is so important to have these on camping trips where everyone knows monsters (both the human and inhuman kind) and evil abound.
So, in conclusion, always have S.M.O.R.E.s while at camp and singing Kumbaya will enhance it's protective properties.
Now, on to 12 Avoiding Mayonnaise. I'd like to tell you a little story about this.
Once upon a time (as all good stories go) there lived a young girl named May O'Nnaise. She may or may not have been of Irish or perhaps French descent (not in the deodorizing sense of descent but in the lineage sense, or perhaps a little of both, but I digress). She met a young man name Sal Monella, he being of possible Italian or Spanish blood, and they fell in love. Sort of condiment/microorgasmic-crossed lovers (I know, I know, that sounds slightly perverse.) Anyhow, the O'Nnaises and the Monellas did not get along. They were a feudin' bunch, most likely from some southern state where the climate is always hot and sticky and family members only marry family members (our beloved southern members of the DWM excluded, of course).
Well, when old Pa O'Nnaise found out about May's romance he was infuriated and swore an oath to make Sal pay. He made May sit out in the hot sun waiting for Sal to come to her rescue while he waited inside with a shotgun poised and ready....
I guess I need not tell the ending, just the fact that when May O'Nnaise is left out in the hot sun for any amount of time, Sal Monella will always appear (in a ghostly and invisible to the naked or clad eye way) and sickness and/or worse is bound to occur to anyone foolhardy enough to allow this to happen.
The end.
I believe that has been enough ‘splainin for today.
First of all, Smores.
It is important to know what "Smore" or in the plural "Smores" represents. I assume the general populace just assumes it is a camping treat and is short for "can I have somemore, please" (notice the politeness, this is not only a girl/boy scout trait and credo, but should be used by everyone and not just the Japanese, who, in my opinion are the epitome of politeness...except during wars but that is another matter altogether because lets face it, war is war and there is nothing polite about it. You would think after the years and years of conflict amongst peoples we would have learned that war is not a good thing, but this is not one of my rants about humankind and it's many, many faults, nay, this is about Smores.)
Now where was I...oh yes, the true meaning of Smores.
Actually it should be S.M.O.R.E. (and 's' if it is pluralized) which is short for Scare Monsters Off (&) Repel Evil. Adding the 's' makes it much more powerful. This is why it is so important to have these on camping trips where everyone knows monsters (both the human and inhuman kind) and evil abound.
So, in conclusion, always have S.M.O.R.E.s while at camp and singing Kumbaya will enhance it's protective properties.
Now, on to 12 Avoiding Mayonnaise. I'd like to tell you a little story about this.
Once upon a time (as all good stories go) there lived a young girl named May O'Nnaise. She may or may not have been of Irish or perhaps French descent (not in the deodorizing sense of descent but in the lineage sense, or perhaps a little of both, but I digress). She met a young man name Sal Monella, he being of possible Italian or Spanish blood, and they fell in love. Sort of condiment/microorgasmic-crossed lovers (I know, I know, that sounds slightly perverse.) Anyhow, the O'Nnaises and the Monellas did not get along. They were a feudin' bunch, most likely from some southern state where the climate is always hot and sticky and family members only marry family members (our beloved southern members of the DWM excluded, of course).
Well, when old Pa O'Nnaise found out about May's romance he was infuriated and swore an oath to make Sal pay. He made May sit out in the hot sun waiting for Sal to come to her rescue while he waited inside with a shotgun poised and ready....
I guess I need not tell the ending, just the fact that when May O'Nnaise is left out in the hot sun for any amount of time, Sal Monella will always appear (in a ghostly and invisible to the naked or clad eye way) and sickness and/or worse is bound to occur to anyone foolhardy enough to allow this to happen.
The end.
I believe that has been enough ‘splainin for today.