HELLdin was so excited she barely slept and arose bright and early to prepare for the Banquet.
She helped Schnecke polish his snail maille. When dressed, they hopped into her Bat-tle-mobile and took off, her excitement building at every turn in the road.
She helped Schnecke polish his snail maille. When dressed, they hopped into her Bat-tle-mobile and took off, her excitement building at every turn in the road.
As she entered the banquet hall, HELLdin glanced around the room to see who was in attendance.
Seated at the Tea Bar is ‘Mlle. Maque ‘the knife’ Inbaque’.
As her name denotes, she keeps her weapon concealed behind her back at all times,
that is, before sinking it in someone elses.
She is more so an Ass-ass-in than an actual heroin. Oops, forgot the ‘e’ which makes
it a completely different subject altogether.
Her face is rarely seen, as she stealthily sneaks up from behind to insert the blade, so no one
knows her true identity.
Flanking her, and to the left is ‘Death Maul the Disruptive but not necessarily, Destroyer’
His battle cry "May the Farce be with you!’
He fights the doldrums and spreads humour where there is none.
He uses his weapon of choice, the ‘Right Saver’, which releases a specific high frequency sound wave known to increase the illusive laughter endorphin, he then makes a witty riposte with tongue and blade, lightening the act of over-seriousness which sometimes leads to quarrels.
Over to the right of Mlle. is ‘Sir Seymour Chapbottom the Third’
An Irishman (HELLdin finds it amusing when he announces himself with his endearing brogue), he fights the evil that causes ‘rash’ behavior.
Because he has known ‘rashiness’ he knows how to deal with it by using soothing words as his salve of protection for those in distress.
Babies and the elderly are particularly at the mercy of rashness and they ‘depend’ on their hero, Sir Chapbottom.
When words are not enough to calm the soreness of ‘rash’ behavior, he has resorted to using his
actual weapon, but only the ‘butt’ of his pistol, as he does not believe in using bullets as they tend to leave bloody holes in things....and people. Literally.
At the Sweets Buffet stands ‘The Mysterious Warrior of Mysteriousness’
Very little is known about the Mysterious Warrior of Mysteriousness because he is just so mystifyingly mysterious.
Next to him, there be ‘MadMadigan the Merciless’ Arrr!
She claims she ‘sails’ several seas (or perhaps 'Cs' as in Cognac, or maybe just a puddle in the gutter) fighting the evils of alcohol wherever she finds it, by drinking it herself.
Thus, she is rarely sober enough to be effective in combat and resorts to fighting off pink elephants and passing out.
At the end of the table is ‘The Professor of Pandemonic Pain and his AssIstant Fankie Gore’
The Professor chiefly feels the need to protect small animals and electrical devices...or was that to
use small animals ‘as’ electrical devices, wiring them, then sending them into evil lairs undetected and causing havoc to the enemie’s grid mainframe.
Frankie Gor, his faithful AssIstant,.actually prefers picking flowers with small children and making friends with the local villagers, although they have a fetish for coming at him with torches and pitchforks. Rather kinky. He blames it on the popularity of the book ‘50 Shades of Grey’.
On the opposite side of the table stands‘Olaf the Awful’
He goes berserk when people leave out the ‘l’ in his first name. In fact, one of the banquet servers, Waiter Gwarçon (they all wore name tags, as did the attendees), while attempting to replenish the Sweets Buffet with a cherry pie, called him ‘Oaf the Offal’ (poor man, he had an accent of some sort), then tried to explain and repeated it several times which only drove Olaf even more crazed, like a frenzied cannibal (which his ‘tribe’ no longer practiced, might I add).
Needless to say, there was nothing left of the cherry pie Waiter Gwarçon had been carrying.
I suggested Olaf just eat the remains and then wipe the ‘evidence’ from his blade....and face...and beard. The matter was quickly and discreetly, ahem, 'done away with'. *wink wink*
And having just entered the Hall HELLdin notices ‘FarLich the Formidable, fresh from the Fray’
Although weapons are not a necessity (he uses spells most of the time) he still carries an axe, and a whip which is used primarily to keep his diminutive ally, Teufelkatze in line.
FarLich has never been defeated, even death fears his name.
When he expels, er, casts his most powerful spell, the ‘Never-ending Bag of Wind’, he blasts foes (and anything else in the line of cast) with a stream of hot air and sarcasm.
Very impressive unless you are the unfortunate that it is cast upon, as it is extremely difficult to avoid and once started, as the spell is so named, is continuous until the enemy falls and begs for mercy.
Seated at the Tea Bar is ‘Mlle. Maque ‘the knife’ Inbaque’.
As her name denotes, she keeps her weapon concealed behind her back at all times,
that is, before sinking it in someone elses.
She is more so an Ass-ass-in than an actual heroin. Oops, forgot the ‘e’ which makes
it a completely different subject altogether.
Her face is rarely seen, as she stealthily sneaks up from behind to insert the blade, so no one
knows her true identity.
Flanking her, and to the left is ‘Death Maul the Disruptive but not necessarily, Destroyer’
His battle cry "May the Farce be with you!’
He fights the doldrums and spreads humour where there is none.
He uses his weapon of choice, the ‘Right Saver’, which releases a specific high frequency sound wave known to increase the illusive laughter endorphin, he then makes a witty riposte with tongue and blade, lightening the act of over-seriousness which sometimes leads to quarrels.
Over to the right of Mlle. is ‘Sir Seymour Chapbottom the Third’
An Irishman (HELLdin finds it amusing when he announces himself with his endearing brogue), he fights the evil that causes ‘rash’ behavior.
Because he has known ‘rashiness’ he knows how to deal with it by using soothing words as his salve of protection for those in distress.
Babies and the elderly are particularly at the mercy of rashness and they ‘depend’ on their hero, Sir Chapbottom.
When words are not enough to calm the soreness of ‘rash’ behavior, he has resorted to using his
actual weapon, but only the ‘butt’ of his pistol, as he does not believe in using bullets as they tend to leave bloody holes in things....and people. Literally.
At the Sweets Buffet stands ‘The Mysterious Warrior of Mysteriousness’
Very little is known about the Mysterious Warrior of Mysteriousness because he is just so mystifyingly mysterious.
Next to him, there be ‘MadMadigan the Merciless’ Arrr!
She claims she ‘sails’ several seas (or perhaps 'Cs' as in Cognac, or maybe just a puddle in the gutter) fighting the evils of alcohol wherever she finds it, by drinking it herself.
Thus, she is rarely sober enough to be effective in combat and resorts to fighting off pink elephants and passing out.
At the end of the table is ‘The Professor of Pandemonic Pain and his AssIstant Fankie Gore’
The Professor chiefly feels the need to protect small animals and electrical devices...or was that to
use small animals ‘as’ electrical devices, wiring them, then sending them into evil lairs undetected and causing havoc to the enemie’s grid mainframe.
Frankie Gor, his faithful AssIstant,.actually prefers picking flowers with small children and making friends with the local villagers, although they have a fetish for coming at him with torches and pitchforks. Rather kinky. He blames it on the popularity of the book ‘50 Shades of Grey’.
On the opposite side of the table stands‘Olaf the Awful’
He goes berserk when people leave out the ‘l’ in his first name. In fact, one of the banquet servers, Waiter Gwarçon (they all wore name tags, as did the attendees), while attempting to replenish the Sweets Buffet with a cherry pie, called him ‘Oaf the Offal’ (poor man, he had an accent of some sort), then tried to explain and repeated it several times which only drove Olaf even more crazed, like a frenzied cannibal (which his ‘tribe’ no longer practiced, might I add).
Needless to say, there was nothing left of the cherry pie Waiter Gwarçon had been carrying.
I suggested Olaf just eat the remains and then wipe the ‘evidence’ from his blade....and face...and beard. The matter was quickly and discreetly, ahem, 'done away with'. *wink wink*
And having just entered the Hall HELLdin notices ‘FarLich the Formidable, fresh from the Fray’
Although weapons are not a necessity (he uses spells most of the time) he still carries an axe, and a whip which is used primarily to keep his diminutive ally, Teufelkatze in line.
FarLich has never been defeated, even death fears his name.
When he expels, er, casts his most powerful spell, the ‘Never-ending Bag of Wind’, he blasts foes (and anything else in the line of cast) with a stream of hot air and sarcasm.
Very impressive unless you are the unfortunate that it is cast upon, as it is extremely difficult to avoid and once started, as the spell is so named, is continuous until the enemy falls and begs for mercy.
There was live music this year by a group commonly known as 'The King of Clones’.
Actually, they called themselves "Elvis to the Power of Six’ or Elvis, Elvis, Elvis, Elvis, Elvis and Elvis.
They were quite good. Some attendees danced, others watched the performance and some remained at the bar.
All was going quite swimmingly until......
To be continued......
Actually, they called themselves "Elvis to the Power of Six’ or Elvis, Elvis, Elvis, Elvis, Elvis and Elvis.
They were quite good. Some attendees danced, others watched the performance and some remained at the bar.
All was going quite swimmingly until......
To be continued......