K, so every time I go in the bathroom (go 'IN THE', not 'TO THE'...but that, too) there's this odor (don't laugh) of sulfur. Like what a match end smells like. I sniffed around,like any good detective (or dog...and maybe I am just a talking dog, you don't know, if so, I'm an Irish Setter, anyways) and discovered it was *dum-dum-dummmm* THE ROLL OF TOILET TISSUE!
Yep, I tore a piece off and that was it! Ew, right?
Anyway, dunno what that proves, dunno if it is even safe to use...wait a minute, maybe it's possessed! Demon possessed! Or the bathroom is!!! Isn't that what demons are supposed to smell like? Sulfur? Like from the burning fires and brimstone (which I just read is the ancient’s name for sulfur...see, you can learn something new every single day and never run out of new things!) pit of Hell?
Wait, Jersey is supposed to have several Hellmouths...our bathroom could be one...this will take further investigation! Updates may or may not be provided.
(Note to self- Make sure you take one or more of the following when entering the bathroom, a cross, Bible, Holy Water, something iron, no, wait, I think that's for ghosts but better take it to be safe, just in case. Will have to see what else works!)
PS- I am not joking, well, maybe about some of it, but the toilet paper really does smell of sulfur!
Oh, and while I'm on the topic of bathroom stuff, when you turn on the cold water fixture in the tub/shower, it makes this squealy sound. It changes tone as you twist the knob in different directions. I've tried making it play a tune. Was getting pretty good at musical knobtapping but no one else in the house appreciated it, so had to stop :( It's being repaired so it won't do it anymore. Apparently no one appreciates my alternative music talent! Hmm,
I bet Einstürzende Neubauten would. Or F.M. Einheit.
Humph!
Oh, geezus, now I just thought that maybe the squealing of the knob is actually voices from Hell!
*Just stop, brain, just stop thinking about this!!!*