Still feel a little nauseous, though.
I’ve been thinking about stuff.
Mostly about life, both real and virtual.
I’m actually less afraid of dying, than I am of living.
At least when you’re dead, there is no more sadness, no more
pain of any kind. No regrets or sorry fors.
It’s all gone.
Even if there is such a thing as reincarnation,
we don’t remember, so what’s the point other than recycling
Last night, I was seriously going to delete this site, as well as
the forums to which I belong (one you can’t leave, guess your identity just lingers there like an epitaph) and my email address.
Just leave the virtual world altogether.
Then I thought about what someone once told me. To wait until
morning. To give things time. So I did.
But I still dunno. Maybe it’s because of feeling sick.
My bff tells me I take it all too seriously. But she is wrong, the
thing that I take seriously are the people mostly. My interactions
and relationship to them.
She says I am starved for affection, and that I’m looking in
the wrong place. Maybe I am.
Not sex, pfft you can do that with yourself if you have no one around (though admittedly, it's not as good), but affection, that’s completely different. You can’t have affection with yourself.
Guess I’ll give it a few more days.
Try and decide. I’m just so bad at making thought out decisions.
And the impulsive ones I usually later regret.